Wank, Jack it, pud pounder, crack the shank, five knuckle olympics, jerk off, polish the rocket, beat your meat, stroke it, choke the chicken, spank the monkey, pocket pool, polish the wand, one man tug-o-war... Whatever you call it, it means the same!

Blow your load. Clean the pipes. Apply the hand brake. Flog the dog. Wank. Beat off. Spank the monkey. Unload. Hone your bone. Manuel labor. Pound the pud. Jack off.

Play the crotch trombone. Wind up the toy. Seamen reporting for duty. Palm the calm. Up at bat. Turning on your fire hose. Walk the sperm. Manual labor. Lube the tube.

Slam the ham. Farm your worm. Master bacon. Angry fist action. Whack the weasel. Trash your thing. Manhandle your manhood. Pull the Goalie.

Bang your bacon. Pulling the pork. Choke your chicken. Ram the ham. Cuddle the kielbasa. Beef jerking. Master bacon. Smoke the bratwurst. Baste the ham.